SHE SAID

Valentine’s Day is going to be great this year. My sister and I took the bull by the horns and made reservations at Ruth’s Chris Steak House in Greensboro for dinner. So you and my brother-in-law can treat us like the queens we are. I didn’t want to risk receiving a single rose with a note telling me how lucky I am to have you for my Valentine.

One year I came home from work and made a special dinner ending with a heart-shaped cake and you said you would rather have gone out to eat. I didn’t even earn an “E” for effort that year. Then once when I told you not to buy candy for me because I was dieting, you actually took me at my word! I love chocolate and a little candy on Valentine’s Day wouldn’t have ruined my diet. Read between the lines, dear heart. Besides, candy manufacturers make sugar-free confections in case you wanted to play it safe. If you need some ideas for future reference, you could consider a romantic evening with dining and dancing, bubbles, dressy clothes, perfume and a chauffeured limo.

You could also go online and find a c
oncert with Michael Bublé or Adam Levine from The Voice. I really would
enjoy listening and drooling over either one of them. If none of these
suggestions appeals to you, let me
know and I’ll do what I did at Christmas. I’ll shop for my own present, wrap it and hand you the receipt. It takes the mystique out of a special day but at least we wouldn’t have to exchange anything and I’ll receive something I like. By the way, I already have your surprise and I’ve spent hours and hours shopping for just the right gift to show you how much I love you. Now, don’t you feel guilty?

HE SAID

Why should I feel guilty? I believe you answered your own question. You and your sister should go out to eat since you already have the reservations. So you don’t want a single rose? Everyone knows that a single rose means I love you. You’re nipping that in the bud too!

When a man comes home from work (even if it is Valentine’s Day) and there are no meat and potatoes on the table, he is likely to be a little grouchy. Add to that a funny looking cake and even McDonald’s is more appealing.

Next, you chastise me for not buying you candy after you explicitly told me not to. Can’t you see the dichotomy there? We don’t live in sunny California and I doubt you could find a limo, bubbles or dancing mid-week in Danville. The perfume you could pick up in any five-and-dime, I am sure. As far as Michael Bubble (there you go… you got your bubbles) and Andy Devine, I am sure that you and your sister would enjoy their howling more than my brother-in-law and I. You seem to enjoy picking out your own present, buying and wrapping it yourself, so who am I to question your judgment? All of that works for me. I am sure you went to a lot of trouble going online to find me the perfect Amazon gift. Putting all kidding aside, I love your plan and you know I live to make you happy.

My gift to you this year will be that you receive all your wishes and I just ask that you and your sister be careful. Watch what you eat at Ruth’s Chris, because their menu items are really fattening. Happy Valentine’s from a man who only wants to please his wife. I love you.

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