(Scene: Mamie is driving the three of them home from an appointment. Solly seems abstracted.)

Solly: Are you out of blinker fluid, Mamie?

Mamie: What blinker fluid? A turn signal doesn’t need fluid.

S: Then why isn’t it working?

M: The turn signal?

S: You’re in the left lane. No blinker.

M (flips blinker down): There. It’s on. 

S (mildly): Tells the car behind you that you’re turning.

M: Good communication.

S: You didn’t tell me where we were going.

M: I told you ahead of time that we had an appointment.

S: You said it was a surprise.

M: Doggonit, you wouldn’t listen.

S (frowning): I was trying to understand math patterns.

M (turning, accelerating): I said we were driving our dog Cooper to try out his new harness.

S: You didn’t tell me where.

M: It was a new inside-venue.

S: At the dog pound.

M: The visiting room.

S: There was a dog in it. And a vet tech. She handed you a leash and left.

M (smiling): You’re observant.

S (wryly): She was expecting you.

M: I did say we had an appointment.

S: Then you sat down on the floor. Played with the doggie.

M: You said, “Doggie.” You liked him.

S: He seemed to know you.

M: I met him earlier this week.

S: When?

M: I donated unopened dog food because Cooper weighs too much and the pound could use it.

S (bewildered): You donated food, and this dog was between you and the donation desk?

M (stopping at a red light): Well, I did wander through Camp Adoptable to see if there were any dogs that you might be interested in.

S: That  I might be interested in?

M: You want small dogs.

S: I already have a small dog. His name is Cooper. You took him out of our car and walked him right into that little room.

M: To make a decision.

S: What decision?

M: Whether he liked Sammy.

S: This dog we’re visiting is Sammy?

M: Don’t you think he looks like a Sammy?

S (puzzled): Mamie, why is Cooper making decisions about Sammy?

M (accelerating): Solly. We adopted Cooper first. 

S:  I don’t understand.

M: Cooper has to feel like he’s going to get along with Sammy.

S: They sniffed each other.

M: Neither growled. 

S: Their tails wagged. Cooper was skittish.

M: Sammy wanted to play.

S: Turns out you’d filled out an application for him.

M: I didn’t think I had a chance, but you’d said you’d be okay with a second dog.

S (swiveling toward her): When did I say that?

M (blinker on, turning right): …I didn’t mark it on the calendar, Solly… 

S: Did I mean it?

M: You never say anything you don’t mean.

S: I don’t? Not even in jest?

M: And then they approved us for adopting him.

S: How many days this week had you been out here?

M: Four.

S: Four? Were you moving in? Plus, Sammy urinated on your bookbag.

M: They said he was housebroken. It’ll wash.

S (frowning): I was looking in the visiting room closet for bookbag cleaner. The dog was chasing a ball, whammed into the door, and shut it on me.

M (turning left, then right): Remember what happened next?

S: He whammed on the door again. You opened it. I said, “Sammy the Whammy.” 

M: You named him! Then Sammy urinated on your foot. Marked his territory. It’ll wash. You’re now his.

S: You set this up between Sammy the Whammy and me.

M: We’re already good dog parents. We’ll work on the housebreaking.

S: I have been blindsided.

M: You love dogs. Cooper loves you. Sammy the Whammy is well on his way.

S: This is a done deal, isn’t it?

M: Sammy and Cooper chose you. You’ll love this dog. Here’s our driveway, Cooper. We’re home.

S: Next time you want me to make a hard left turn, turn on a blinker. Give me some kind of signal.

M: What? And ruin the surprise? We pick Sammy up on Tuesday.

Linda Lemery llemery@gmail.com welcomes reader comments.